Chloe Tse
November 4, 2019
On October 16, sophomore and juniors shuffled towards their respective classrooms to take the PSAT, the first step toward furthering their college career. Those who failed would burn in the eternal flames with Nao’s elegant purple handwriting mocking them. The secrets to success, however, are simple. Here are a few tips from my years of experience and rigorous study. Enter the 48-Hours without Sleep Competition 48 Hours Before the Test Ever heard of the phrase “sleep is for the weak”? Who wants to be weak on the day of the SAT? With this newfound tactic, you may even gain TikTok clout by posting a viral video of you participating in this challenge. Once College Board becomes part of your loyal TikTok fanbase, they will kowtow to your superiority and pull several strings for you here and there to get a signature. Who knows, they may even sponsor a trip for you go to visit their prestigious headquarters. Emma Chamberlain who? Do Not Give Away Your Personal Information Many of my fellow students have been deceived by the PSAT guidelines which requires you to state your full name, school, area code, so on and so forth, forgetting the numerous times their parents warned them of “stranger danger!” As concerns abound surrounding the abuse of online personal information (*cough* Mark Zucchini *cough*), it is much better to use an alias instead. As for the address, be sure to put Area 51 so the mailmen will have a valid excuse to investigate and possibly discover the toothpaste that 10/10 dentists recommend. Leave As Many Answers Blank As Possible Standardized testing is a game of romance and seduction, requiring immense tact rather than actual knowledge. By leaving answers blank, you begin to foster an enigmatic persona that leaves College Board guessing, effectively playing “hard to get.” You do not just directly present to them what line of thought, but rather, you kept an aura of secrecy around yourself that attracts them to you and provokes a chase.
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